


Subtext

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 09:56:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2647688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after s10.ep5 "Fan Fiction."  Dean's forced to think about his feelings for Cas!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Subtext

Destiel. Deastiel? What had she said? What had Sam turned it into? It's all just a feverish tangle of thoughts now, the name doesn't matter. To be honest, it's not like he hadn't thought about it, but now that other people had brought it to his immediate attention, he couldn't help but be flustered over the very thought of such an ordeal. But the actors playing him and Cas had been a couple, does that mean that Cas was relationship material? The thought of becoming closed-off, with Castiel as an all-around lover, made his gut sputter. His heart beat hard in his ears now as he thought, his cheeks warm. Suddenly, he found himself wandering into the thought of Cas, panting below him, moaning. So much more vocal now that Dean has him bent into such an intimate position, "Dean," coming out behind every other breath. Grunting, lean in and—

"Dean!"

The hunter was plunged back into reality, yanking the car from the wrong lane, barely missing the oncoming traffic. He blinked a few times, squinting at the road ahead of him, his headlights hitting the pavement consistently. Sam stared at him, wide-eyed, a smile tugging at his lips. 

"You okay?" 

"Uh- yes, I-I'm just peachy." He kept his eyes on the road, his jaw clinched and his face burning hot. He swallowed a confession and prayed Sam was too tired to notice his faltering smile.

He was not.

He was, however, close enough to his brother to be able to pick out subtle signs, especially when they were burning a bright shade of red. He grinned, knowing the matter on hand.

"So," he began, looking out his window, failing to hide his elated grin. "Should we go meet up with Cas, or-"

"What? No, no, dude, it's way too late, the guy needs to sleep sometime, right? When's the last time that guy got some good ol' alone time. We should— we should hit up a motel and call it a night."

Sam laughed out loud this time, snickering as he glanced at his blushing brother. "Cas doesn't need to sleep anymore, Dean. And it's not even 9."

Silence flooded the atmosphere. After a long moment, Dean's dam broke and everything rushed out, "If I have to look at Cas I think I might explode because I'm feeling really..." He took a deep breath, checking his brother's reaction briefly—an expectant, open-mouthed grin—before continuing. "...nervous."

Another short burst of laughter from Sam.

"Shut up," Dean groaned, the back of his neck growing hot.

"Dude," Sam sighed, amusement thick in his voice. "It's fine, Dean. It's fine. It's a new age, being homosexual isn't a big deal-"

"Don't- don't— don't say it like that," he stammered, his eyes darting from the road to Sam. "It- it's not that, it's just... it-it's Cas. Cas. Castiel, you know?" Saying his name left a strange tingle on his tongue now.

"Dean," Sam said loudly. "I'm sure he probably feels the same way."

"Woah, woah, what's all this 'requited feelings' shit? I don't feel nothing for Cas, it- it is strictly platonic."

Sam looked his brother over before snickering. "Right. Then what's the big deal?"

The brothers were familiar with awkward silences as well as comfortable ones. This silence was neither.

"He'd do anything for you," Sam said slowly, as if it had just become clear to him. But he'd known it since he was first introduced to the angel. "And, you'd do anything for him."

"So?" Dean's face contorted with confusion. "I'd do anything for you, too, and I don't wanna snog you."

"Yeah, but, in our case, you were practically taught to do anything for family. We've always been in that position, Dean. Brothers grown in this life generally are. But, with Cas, you two-"

"If you say anything cheesy about me and Cas, I swear to God I will turn this car around." 

Ignoring his abnormal threat, Sam laughed in defeat. 

"By the way, since when do you root for Cas and I to- to— Are you one of them, Sammy?"

"One of who?" Sam managed between stifled laughs.

"The fangirls!"

Sam began laughing again, resting his head against his window. He sighed. "Whatever, dude. Wake me up when we get to the bunker."

Dean grumbled in reply.

He was silent for a minute, both of them were. He watched the road thoughtlessly for a long time before chancing a glance at his brother. To his relief, Sam's breathing had slowed significantly, his expression nor sullen and more peaceful. Dean sighed, rolling his eyes, his head following to accentuate. 

"I know Cas feels...the.... I get it. I know what you meant," he murmured, his lips pursing in Sam's unconscious direction. He waited a second, continuing when Sam wouldn't. "Truth be told, Sammy, I don't... hate the idea."

Sam had nothing to say.

Dean huffed through his nose. "I... I don't know, man. It's just weird to think about. It's not even really that he's a guy. That might be a little bit why, but not really. It's just... I wouldn't want to ask him. He gives everything to us, you know? We work him like a race horse..." A thoughtful moment passed before he added, "He doesn't complain, but what if he... I'm afraid it would be a burden, like he'd feel pressured to roll with it."

Suddenly, Dean flushed awkwardly, his fingers picking at the steering wheel as they hit a stop light. Swallowing, he sifted through the speech that was replaying in his head, trying to think of how to delicately admit the next part. It took a few minutes to so much as think it coherently, and by the time he spoke again he was already pulling onto a dirt road, taking him further from civilization but closer to home. 

"I... I maybe really like the guy, yes. A lot, I-" he broke off, sucking air through his teeth as he stifled a nervous laugh. "I love him," he said slowly. "But I don't... deserve him."

The ride home was quiet after that.


End file.
